All things copywriting
Recently I received an email from David, owner of a local small business needing help with his flyer/brochure.
He has been in business about 2 years and wants more customers.
He will be sending out flyers by letterbox drop and needed a bit of help. I had a look at what he had, and could see that most of the information wasn’t really of interest to a prospect, and in my humble opinion the flyer was likely to end up in the recycling bin with most others.
The flyer as it was, listed the business name as a headline.
To me it didn’t really communicate to the prospect, identify their pain or problems, and describe how David could solve their problems. I’ve detailed below the “before” and “after” of this flyer, I’d be interested to hear your comments.
I rewrote it as both a very short (and small – C6 or quarter A4) size and an A4 flyer.
David will be distributing the flyer shortly and it will be interesting to see the results……
D & S HOME SERVICES
LIFE’S TOO SHORT FOR HOUSEWORK
ALL WORK GUARANTEED TO YOUR SATISFACTION
WE ARE A LOCAL COMPANY WITH EXPERIENCE
WE CARE ABOUT OUR CLIENTS.
D & S HOME SERVICES OFFERS A COMPLETE RANGE OF HOME CLEANING SERVICES:
* Vacuuming * Bathroom
* Dusting * Laundry
* Kitchen * Utility cleaning
D & S HOME SERVICES supply professional cleaners on a regular basis
either weekly/fortnightly, the choice is yours. OR for that ONE time clean, such as after parties, spring clean, moving house, etc…
BASIC CLEANING SERVICES…WHAT’S INCLUDED:
Kitchen: All Rooms:
Clean bench tops Vacuum floors
Clean cook top Dust surfaces
Clean sink & taps Mop all wooden/tile floors
Clean splashback Clean mirrors
Clean appliance exterior Empty rubbish bins
Clean inside microwave General tidy
Clean bath Clean & disinfect
Clean shower cabin
Clean basin & taps
“Honesty & integrity are part of our core values”
Call David NOW for a SUPER obligation free quotation:
0402 206 574
We will take care of ALL your cleaning needs…..
USE YOUR FREE TIME FOR YOU!!!!!
You’re busy. Under statement right?
Between work, kids, bills, housework, family functions etc. you probably don’t even have the time to read this.
So I’ll keep it short and sweet.
We’re a local cleaner who values our Customers.
Nothing is too much trouble.
We won’t tell you “Sorry we don’t do that” or tell you what we CAN’T do.
Our mission is to solve your housework worries not add to them.
Like you, we value honesty and integrity. We know that GOOD cleaners are in very short supply. Our cleaners won’t say things like “By the way, if you’re missing an earring I just sucked it up in the vacuum cleaner”
We’ve heard the horror stories too.
Try us. Find out for yourself why we are different.
Call us NOW to see how we can sort out your housework problems
Call David’s Home Help on 0402 206 574
Writing, testing and rewriting your Copy….(the fun part! not….)
I’m currently going through the process of testing and refining copy for a long form online sales letter.
In writing the copy I focus on;
- A compelling headline. The headline I used details benefits gained by a previous customer – and attainable by the prospect
- Describing the prospects
- An offer which is compelling and attractive to the prospect
- A cast iron guarantee
- The close or call to action
How can you tell if copy is any good? Well, truthfully it’s results. Are you getting any sales? If not it’s time to amend and test the copy until you get it right.
In testing I use google analytics to see how long visitors are staying on the page.
0-10 seconds – the headline needs work
The point here is the power of words and headlines to stir the emotions, inspire, move, identify, raise the hairs on the back of our necks.
Headlines grab the attention and stick in the mind of your prospect.
Consider these famous headlines and movie grabs:
“I’ll be back.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Terminator 1984
“My Mama always said, ‘Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get.”
Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump 1994
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!”
Clark Gable, Gone with the Wind 1939
“What we do in life echoes in eternity”
Russell Crowe, Gladiator 2000
“Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”
Russell Crowe, Gladiator 2000
If you’re anything like me, these headlines or movie grabs stir your emotions. They grab your attention and make you feel.
These movie grabs and/or headlines stuck in people’s minds so much, that they are remembered decades later. It’s that kind of effect we’re looking for in a headline.
Make no mistake, when we make purchases we do so based on how we feel. Not because of the great features of the product. It’s emotions that stir us into action.
Your headlines need to not only grab the readers attention with both hands, they need to stir emotion in your prospect.
You can also have a fantastic offer within the headline, effectively killing two birds with one stone.
Here is an example of two different headlines based on one of my own products. Which one grabs your attention more?
How a 57 year old Sales Manager unemployed for 2 Years
Got a job paying $130K
Just 30 days after buying “Pro Resumes Made Easy”
Headline 2 in my humble opinion grabs the attention but also makes an offer. The copy from there on out tells a story which holds the readers attention enough to have them keep reading.
The key is to practice writing headlines. I’ve not only been experimenting and testing with headline after headline, but have been handwriting some great headlines to help them stick.
Try it and see, it works!
I’ve spent the last 13 years marketing individuals as a resume writer, and as of July 31st I’m a copywriter!
In July 2011 I travelled to Mackay Queensland to learn from Pete Godfrey, Wizard of Words and the best damn Copywriter in Australia.
I learned a lot and feel revitalised and ready to write copy that works (www.petegodfrey.com). I have more books here though, and plan on reading, reading and reading and keep learning as much as I can about this exciting subject.
I’m mastering the ability to turn features not only into benefits but also into feelings.
What do I mean?
Well let’s use the example of my resume writing ebook I wrote last year. What are some of its features, for example;
* It’s 115 pages long
* It gives samples of resumes that I wrote that worked for my clients
* It gives specific “how to” information (not “what to” info) on how to write a professional resume
If you’re human, you think Who Cares? If you’re a copywriter you turn these not only into benefits, but feelings.
* Every question you ever had about resume writing will be answered
* Don’t have to reinvent the wheel or think about how to write a resume, it’s all been done before!
* Saves time and frustration as all you have to do is follow the steps in the book and there it is, your new professional resume
The benefits are slightly better than features, but the benefits don’t really grab the reader as solving their problems and feelings. Someone that needs a resume writing ebook has problems and feelings that need to be addressed. For example, job seekers will be frustrated, overwhelmed, confused and not sure where to start writing a resume. They usually don’t know who to trust as there are a lot of conflicting opinions and information on the subject scattered all over the web. The question is, what will this new ebook do for them? What problem will it solve? How will they feel once they have it?
- How to get more job interviews without spending a fortune on professional resume writers (pages x)
- The SINGLE most critical resume step that means the difference between success or failure and can GUARANTEE a resumes that gets results in hours ( page x reveals all)
- WARNING: Resume blunders and how to avoid them (see page x)
- How to avoid an embarrassing resume that is thrown in the bin with a laugh (page x )
- What you must do NOW to dramatically increase your resume response rate by 100% (page xxx) Imagine getting that Dream Job Offer within days!
- The one explosive secret which will fill your days with more dream job interview requests in the next month days than most job seekers will ever see.
- Discover my most VITAL and confidential tips that most job-seekers will never know in their lifetime…
- Samples of winning resumes that actually got interviews for my Customers (page X)
- Relax safe in the knowledge of a 13 year Resume Writing Veteran who guarantees your success and prosperity
- Learn the successful actions, tips and insider secrets gained from 13 years of blood sweat and tears………why reinvent the wheel?
- Discover the specific A – Z step by step guide on the “How to” of writing a professional resume, not the general and non specific “What to” do you usually see in eBooks which is so frustrating!
See the difference? These bullets now explain the features and benefits but tap into the feelings of the prospect? We all make purchases based on emotions and feelings, we’re a cesspit of fear, concern, happiness, anger, worry you name it
These new bullets tap into these whether that be fear, security, safety or desire….
Try it and see the difference.
What do you feel? Could you be a copywriter?
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